Army Extends "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to Include
Potential Terrorists
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Washington -
According to Army Chief of Staff George W. Casey,
if you are a soldier in the United States Army, you should keep all
plans to
terrorize your fellow soldiers strictly confidential, Underneath
Politics has
learned. "The time has come for us to unite in silence," General Casey
said. "If you go around telling everyone that you sympathize with
Muslim suicide
bombers and then commit a terrorist act, the right-wingers get mad
because we
in effect knew you were a huge threat to the safety of your fellow men
and
women in uniform; but if you keep your religious viewpoints to
yourself, you
get to act out in accordance with your holy book and afterward we get
to throw
our hands in the air while desperately shouting, 'How were we supposed
to
know!?' and, 'Guy must have gone crazy in a non-denominational sort of
way!' I
know jihadists aren't typically keen on working with infidels, but
eventually we
infidels that make up the Army brass are going to have to try and stop
some of
you from fulfilling your terrorist goals if you can't meet us halfway."
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