Senate Healthcare Plan Mandates All Citizens Earn
Medical Degree
Washington - In an effort to reduce the cost of medical care,
the latest Senate healthcare bill will require every American citizen to become
a licensed medical doctor, Underneath Politics has learned. Senator Harry Reid
insists the proposal would give Americans better access to care, as well as
save the country billions of dollars. "If you get sick, no longer will a visit
to the hospital be required; instead you'll be able to turn to the person next
to you and ask, 'Can I get a little help here, Buddy; I think my appendix just
burst.' Everyone would be in the same boat regardless of social standing," the
Senator said. According to Mr. Reid, eventually the plan would result in the
elimination of hospitals. "If we have first-aid kits available throughout
cities and towns, all of America
would be transformed into the largest medical care facility in the world. You
wouldn't be riding a city bus; you'd be riding an elongated medical transport
vehicle. I can't picture a more perfect utopia." Republican Senator John Thune
however insists that all Americans don't have an aptitude for science, and time
spent training would take them away from their current vocation. "We need to
have a diverse community in order to thrive," he said. "If you go into a
McDonalds, you want the person French frying your potatoes to have focused on
training how to French fry potatoes; not removing your gallbladder on the off
chance you immediately needed the procedure as soon as you entered the
establishment."
